How to Cope When Bad Things Happen to You

We all have those days, weeks, months, or even years when we just feel like everything is going wrong, everything is a struggle, and the world is out to get you. When you finally find the strength to climb to the top of one mountain, you find an even bigger mountain to tackle or a vicious mountain lion, trying to attack you, on the other side. Or you have that one bad experience that you just can’t shake, leaving you with a gray outlook on life and feeling weighed down. It’s extremely difficult to be positive after bad things happen to you. But what you need to remember is that you have the power to change the direction of how things are going. And it all comes down to your thoughts and perspective.

Vent but put limits on how much you talk about your negative situations

We all need to vent and blow off steam. It’s healthy to do so. Talk to someone you trust and share your thoughts and feelings about what is going on. However, it is important to remember that the people that tend to get stuck in a rut are the ones that keep reliving their negative experiences over and over again. Repeatedly talking about your negative experiences and the things you are unhappy about puts negative energy into the universe. The universe is programmed to give you back the energy that you give out. It’s as simple as that. Just seconds before I was mugged in New Orleans, I was annoyed that my night did not go as planned and was upset and complaining. That experience reminded me that when you are eliciting negative energy, you are basically drawing more negative energy to you. Do people still get mugged that are presently happy and being positive? Sure, but you increase your chances of drawing negative energy to you if you are being negative. So why take the chance?

Try to find the good in your situation

If nothing else, think of it as a lesson that will make you a better, stronger person. Our bad experiences make us more sensitive, compassionate souls. Take my mugging experience, for example. It was pretty traumatizing to be held at gunpoint and have my purse taken from me. I felt violated. After my initial reaction of being angry and shaken, I felt bad for my attackers. The two guys that mugged me obviously needed that stuff more than me. They must be struggling in this world and feel that they have no choice, but to steal from other people, and that’s sad. I’m glad it was me and not the other couple that came around the corner only two minutes after us. Maybe they would have lost more cash, had a more traumatic experience, not had the money to replace their cellphone, or worse, have been shot. And in the end, all the things in my purse were replaceable, so I was grateful that my boyfriend and I were safe. My grandfather always used to say, if a problem can be solved with money, then it is not truly a problem. Disease or loss of a loved one cannot be repaired. But money, eventually, will come into your hands to solve fixable problems, even if it causes stress, not all is lost. Think about the positive side of things in order to help you overcome challenges and reach your goals.


Tell yourself positive affirmations

Even if you don’t feel like it, do it. Tell yourself positive statements, throughout the day, especially in the morning before you start your day. You may not see or feel the change immediately, but you are putting that positive energy into the universe and the universe will hear you and respond. You must believe in your affirmations for them to come true as your thoughts and feelings must be aligned. The more preset your statements are, the better, as opposed to future or past statements. You should say things as if you already have them, rather than as if you want them to happen. Examples of positive affirmations:
I am a good person and good things happen to me
I make good decisions that are best for me
Today is a great day
I am happy, I love my life
Check out Prolific Living – 100 Positive Affirmations for a list of 100 positive affirmations for all different situations in life.
Again I will reflect back on my mugging experience. It was hard to sleep for several weeks after that incident. No matter how hard I tried to forget it, I kept reliving the experience in my mind. What could I have done differently? Why did that happen? What if I had been shot? What if my boyfriend had been shot? When my mind would take me to this negative space again, I would try really hard to think of positive affirmations to get me through it. I would tell myself things like: “I am safe”, “I can let this go” and I would ask to release the negative feelings I was harboring about the situation. And I would repeat it over and over again in my mind until I could fall asleep.

Bottom line is you have the power to change your thinking and perspective to a positive one, no matter what negative experience you have been through or how bad your life seems right now. And the sooner you can change your thinking to be more positive, the quicker your life will turn around.

“You never really know what’s coming. A small wave, or maybe a big one. All you can really do is hope that when it comes, you can surf over it, instead of drown in its monstrosity.”―Alysha Speer

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