We all have those days, weeks, or even months where we just cannot get a certain thought out of our head. It could be something you did or said, or something someone else did or said, or just a worry about something that may or may not happen. We notice that this thought is taking over our brains and we want to let it go, but for some reason that thought just keeps creeping back in, driving us crazy, not allowing us to concentrate or sleep.
 

Why does this happen and how can we let go of these thoughts? Our mind is programmed to think thoughts. That is just what the mind does, and it is up to us to control our minds. We have the power to choose what thoughts we want to have. When it feels like we don’t have the power over our minds, sometimes it is because we have not figured out a way to let go of a particular situation. Something is left unfinished in our mind and we keep trying to figure it out or make it better. Here are some questions to ask yourself in order to help you let go and move on.
 
 

1. Can you do anything about it?

There are thoughts we have that are hypothetical scenarios of the future and lead us to worrying about something that may never happen (well actually it might happen now that you continue thinking about it and putting that possibility into the universe). And there are also thoughts we have about the past regarding things we wish we would have done or said differently.
 

So when we have these types of ruminating future and past thoughts, we need to ask ourselves– can you do anything to avoid this thing from happening in the future or fix what happened in the past?

YES

Sometimes the answer is yes and if it is, GO DO IT! Do it now so you can let go and stop thinking about it. Once you put things in place for the future or apologize for something you did in the past, tell yourself that you have done your best and that is good enough.
 

NO

If the answer is no, then accept that answer. If there is nothing you can do about it, then why waste your present moment worrying about it? Let it go by telling yourself that whatever happens you can handle it and whatever has happened is a learning experience and has helped you grow and then move forward from it. Every time the thought comes back, remind yourself that there is nothing you can do about it, so you might as well let it go.
 
 

2. Will this matter a year from now? Five years from now?

There are other thoughts we have that cause us to have strong negative reactions of anger, sadness, hatred, or jealousy. Sometimes we allow certain thoughts to make us feel bad about ourselves.
 

In these cases, I ask myself, “will this matter a year from now or five years from now?”

YES

If the answer is yes, then again go do something about it now. Stop procrastinating and over thinking it. Go take action!
 

NO

Most of the time the answer is no, it will not matter a year from now.
 

So then the follow up question is then why are you letting it bother you now?

Sometimes I let myself be angry about it for a few minutes. I just let it all out, but then after those few minutes, I purposefully let go of it. I remind myself that it really is not that big of a deal and it is not worth compromising my present moment for. I want to be happy and have good, positive thoughts and feelings, so the quicker I can release those negative thoughts and feelings, the better. That is not to say we should ignore our feelings that are unpleasant. We need to allow ourselves to feel whatever it is we are feeling in order to move on. It’s when we continue to bring back the negative thoughts and feelings over and over again that we become unhealthy. If the thought comes back, I again remind myself that I already allowed myself to feel it and now I need to let it go.
 
 

3. Is this the truth or did I make this up?

Have you ever had that one thought that then leads to other thoughts and before you know it you have created a whole story that never happened? We do this all the time when we make our own conclusions as to why someone acted a certain way towards us. We start putting extra words in their mouths or believe they were thinking certain bad things about us.
 

So the question then is to ask ourselves if what we are thinking truly happened or did we allow our minds to create something that may not be the truth?

When this type of thinking happens to me, I stop myself and think “how do I know this to be true?” If the answer is “because I think so”, then I try to take a step back and remind myself that there is no use is creating things in my mind that drive me crazy. There is no way for us to know what other people are really thinking or why they acted a certain way.
 

If you want to know why someone did something a certain way that hurt your feelings, ask them! Don’t make assumptions.
 
If you want someone to know that you are hurt by something they said, tell them! Most of the time, if the person truly cares about you, they didn’t mean to hurt your feelings. If you cannot ask, then remind yourself that you really don’t know the truth. Give the person the benefit of the doubt and move on.
 

“If you spend too much time thinking about a thing, you’ll never get it done.” -Bruce Lee

 
 
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